Thursday, March 21, 2013

LET'S DO THE MATH

     Research has shown that the average American consumes - are you ready? - 130 pounds of sugar each year.  Of course, WE'RE not average, but be aware that sugar in its myriad forms is found in almost everything we eat.  Yes, even carrots or cauliflower or onions and in all fruits.  

     If we stuck to veggies and fruit they would provide us with all the sugar we require, and the accompanying nutrients and fiber are just (excuse the pun) the icing on the cake.  But what is life without an occasional scoop of ice cream or a slice of birthday cake?  Man - or woman - does not live by produce alone.

     Back to sugar, let's do the math.  If the average person does indeed consume 130 pounds of sugar each year, then

               I pound of sugar = 2 cups, so 130 pounds = 260 cups/year (WOW)
               365 days into 260 cups =.71 cup/day or a little less than 3/4 cup
               1 cup of sugar = 768 calories
               768 calories x .71 = 545 calories/day
               545 calories/day x 365 days = 198,925 calories/year
               Since 3500 calories = l pound of body weight
               3500 calories into 198,925 = 56.84 pounds of weight/year

                                                HOLY FLAB, BATMAN

     Too much sugar causes the pancreas to produce too much insulin which leads to insulin resistance (cells cannot absorb any more insulin) and here comes diabetes.

     At almost 57 additional pounds per year, how come we're not all grossly obese?  This is 57 pounds if you never moved a muscle.  This is 57 pounds if you ate nothing but sugar.  This is 57 pounds if you never (ahem) used the bathroom facilities (and then you'd have a lot more than 57 extra pounds to worry about). 

    Fortunately, most of us are active enough and eat enough protein, fat, fiber, etc to offset such a huge weight gain.  But next week when you bite off "just the ears" of that chocolate Easter  bunny, think twice before you follow it up with a handful of jelly beans.  Remember, dinner is coming soon - and that luscious Key Lime pie.

     







Wednesday, March 13, 2013


DEFTINITIONS


 AMNESIA

     A condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

CONFIDENCE

     The feeling you have before you understand the situation.

DIPLOMAT

     A person who tells you to go to Hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

EYEDROPPER

A clumsy ophthalmologist

 FLABBYGASTED

     Appalled over how much weight you have gained.

INTOXICATION

     Euphoria at getting a tax refund which lasts until you realize it was your money to begin with.

POLYGON
  A dead parrot.
STERILIZE

     What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.